Comedy Combat: Take Two
by Self-Proclaimed KingofDDR
Summary: Comedy is versatile. It can be used to cheer someone up, to distract someone, or to make people underestimate you. But one woman saw it as a means of combat. And now her son shall take it up as well! No Parings.
1. Chapter 1

Comedy Combat: Take Two!

Written by Self-Proclaimed KingofDDR

Summary: Comedy is versatile. It can be used to cheer someone up, to distract someone, or to make people underestimate you. But one woman saw it as a means of combat. And now her son shall take it up as well! No Parings.

* * *

"Very well, then. We shall move on towards our next match-up," Gekko Hayate, proctor of the third stage of the Chunnin Exams said.

While the computer flashed through the remaining names, Naruto could barely hold in his excitement. After seeing so many of the other Ninja show off their stuff, he was eager to really give his peers a show.

'_Hee, hee! Just wait until they get a load of my new combat technique. It'll knock em' dead! Laughing, that is! Too bad I can't say the same thing about the unlucky guy that has to face me!'_

Finally, the computer chose the next two contestants. The names, _Naruto Uzumaki_ and _Kiba Inuzuka_ were displayed.

"Alright! It's about time!" Naruto said with a huge grin as he did a pose. "Hey, Kiba! Nothing personal, but you're going _down_, Dog Boy!"

"Heh, you wish Naruto! A weak punk like you doesn't stand a chance against me!" Kiba gloated. "Looks like we hit the jackpot, eh, Akamaru?"

The little snow white dog on top of Kiba's head let out a bark of confidence

Sakura looked towards Naruto with a look of concern on her face.

'_I know that Naruto said he had a new way of fighting, but…just be careful out there, Naruto.'_

"Humph. So that little orange eyesore's up next, huh?" Kankuro sneered. "This won't take long at all. I say it only takes a couple of hits to bring him down."

"Yeah. If the rumors I heard were true, then this kid's even weaker than that bun-haired girl I fought. And considering that I took her out with ease, this guy isn't even worth observing. I bet he'll go down with just one hit." Temari scoffed.

"Poor Naruto. Of all the people to face, it just had to be Kiba. Dog-breath had the highest marks in Taijutsu class, aside from Sasuke-kun. If he manages to land one hit on Naruto, then it's all over," Ino said, shaking her head.

"I wouldn't be so quick to write Naruto off like that. But I gotta agree that he definitely has the disadvantage in this fight. There's a chance for him to win this, but it's a very small one," Shikamaru replied.

"Well, if anyone can defeat Kiba, it's Naruto. He's easily the most determined of all of us, and that might give him the edge he needs!" Chouji said, still snacking away on his chips.

"…We _are_ still talking about the same Naruto we grew up with, right? He may be willing to go the distance needed, but the fact that he simply doesn't have the _skill_ to reach that distance can't be ignored!" Ino declared. "Both he and Sasuke-kun were a mess when we defended them and Sakura from that Sound Team. And it took really good ninja like Shino and lazy boy over here to defeat them. And considering that Naruto isn't even in the same class as them, what makes you think he'll do any better against someone like Kiba?"

"…Just call it a hunch," Chouji shrugged.

"So, that Uzumaki kid is up, hmm?" Neji said.

"…Yes…" Lee answered, keeping his eyes completely on Naruto. _'Well, Naruto, as a fellow Genius of Hard Work, I am looking forward to your performance! Show all these people that it takes more than coming from a respected clan to emerge triumphant!'_

"Okay, Akamaru! Let's make this nice and quick. The less of our moves we have to show off, the better," Kiba said. The two of them jumped from the platform and into the arena.

"Heh, that's my line, Kiba!" Naruto smirked; leaping over the railing in what was no doubt a cool, heroic way.

…Except for the fact that his foot caught the railing, which caused him to fall flat on his face instead.

"…I meant to do that…" Naruto groaned, slowly getting back to his feet.

Kiba nearly fell backwards on his ass, he was laughing so hard. "Are you for real? How does someone as clumsy as you think you stand _any_ chance against me?"

"Ah, shaddup! That was just an error in judgment, that's all! Trust me, when this is all said and done, your face will be too busy eating the floor to be doing any laughing!" Naruto growled, rubbing his bruised face. "And why did you bring that little puppy? Get him outta here so that he won't get trampled during your beatdown!"

"This 'little puppy' is my partner, numb nuts," Kiba frowned. "Whenever I get into a fight, he's always there to back me up. But I have a feeling that this time I won't need his help. Pounding you into a pulp should be a piece of cake!"

"Heh, just you try it, dog-breath," Naruto said with a toothy smirk.

As the two got ready to rumble, Kakashi thought about how far Naruto had gone since he first came out of the Academy.

'_Naruto, your growth as a ninja has been nothing short of amazing. I can remember when you were nothing but a loud mouth with big dreams, and nowhere near the skills to back them up. But ever since the mission to the Wave, you've been growing at an astounding rate. And to top it all off, you've even begun to inherit your mother's style of fighting. Heh…these people will be in for one hell of a show…I just hope you've mastered enough of the basics to use the style in an effective way. The last thing we need is for…_him_ to make an appearance…'_

Kurenai, on the other hand, was thinking the opposite. _'Sorry, Kakashi. But that little boy Naruto doesn't stand a chance against Kiba. _She thought with no little amount of pride.

"Okay. The match between Naruto Uzumaki and Kiba Inuzuka shall take place…" Hayate began, raising his hand.

Naruto and Kiba both tensed up.

"…NOW!" Hayate declared, swiping his arm down with one quick movement.

The Dog-Nin hopped back to the other end of the arena, plucking Akamaru off of his head.

"You can sit this one out, boy. I'll end this with one blow," Kiba said, setting Akamaru down unto the ground.

After that, he slowly bent down on his knees, putting his hands together into a sign.

'_Time to get this show on the road…_' Kiba thought. _'Ninja art of Beast Mimicry…'_

A dense blue chakra flowed throughout the feral-ninja's body, his appearance taking on a more beastly form. His nails became longer and sharper, his voice sounded more vicious, and he was even on all fours like a dog.

'_Well…talk about a makeover gone horribly wrong…' _Naruto thought a bit nervously.

"Here I come." Kiba growled. With impressive speed, he charged towards an unprepared Naruto, and delivered a powerful strike to his gut with an elbow.

Naruto's mouth opened in silent pain for a moment. But before he could be thrown back by the force, he gave a little smirk…and poofed into little streams of confetti, witch rained down onto Kiba.

"What the…?" Kiba began, confused. _'Was that some kind of clone jutsu? But what kind of clone bursts into confetti?'_

"What's the matter, Kiba? Stunned by my Confetti Clone?" Naruto taunted from right behind Kiba, startling the boy.

"Why you…!" Kiba snarled, whirling around to sock Naruto in the Jaw…only for Naruto to explode into confetti again. "Tch…where is he?"

Akamaru barked a warning to Kiba, telling him that the blond ninja was right behind him again.

Kiba quickly whirled around to attack Naruto again. …But what he didn't expect was to have a pie thrown right into his face.

"Take that, Kiba! Lemon Pie Punch!" Naruto said with a huge smile.

Kiba just flinched as he got a good whiff of the pie. He always hated Lemons. His face was downright murderous as the pie fell off of his face, the Lemon cream still all over it.

"…Huh. Of all the things to attack with, a pie wouldn't have been my first choice," Shikamaru said, scratching his head in confusion.

"Ah man! Why couldn't I have been hit by that attack? I love pie!" Chouji sighed.

"…Temari?" Kankuro began.

"Yeah?" Temari replied.

"Am I just seeing things…or did that kid hit Inuzuka with a _pie?"_

"…I saw it too, so I don't think it's just you…"

Naruto was laughing his head off, ignoring the way that Kiba's entire _body_ was twitching.

The boy _really_ hated the smell of lemons.

Kurenai was _not_ amused. _At all_.

"What is the meaning of this, Kakashi? Is your student just treating this like a game of some sort?" The woman growled.

"Heh. You'll see in just a second how much of this is a game," Kakashi replied with a hidden mask smirk.

Kiba finally shook the cream off of his face, and glared at the laughing Naruto. "You think you're real clever, don't ya you little bastard? Just wait until I get my hands on you!"

"Is that a threat, Kiba?" Naruto asked, smirking now.

"No, it's a goddamn _promise_!" Kiba snarled.

"I'll look forward to it. But first…" Naruto said, bringing a present wrapped with a green bow from out behind his back. "I hope you'll accept this token of my friendship."

Before Kiba could do anything else, Naruto tossed the present towards him, causing the Inuzuka to catch the present without thinking.

"There ya go. Enjoy that!" Naruto said with a cat-like grin.

"Are you nuts? There's no way I'm taking a gift from _you_! I'm just gonna smash it!" Kiba barked in anger dropping the box and raising his foot to stomp on it.

"Kiba, wait…!" Kurenai shouted towards the Genin. But it was too late.

The second Kiba's foot squashed the box, an explosion of yellow smoke came bursting out of it, engulfing the Dog-Nin.

"AUGGHH! Lemon Powder!" Kiba shouted over his coughing, feeling a bit nauseous.

"Ha Ha Ha! Just in case you didn't get a good enough whiff of that Lemon Cream! You're welcome, by the way!" Naruto crowed in laughter. "And if you think that the worse that my Comedy Combat style can do, then you have no idea what you're in for!"

"…Comedy Combat?" Kiba roared over his coughs.

"That's right. Me and my new way of fighting are gonna take you down, Comedy style!" Naruto declared with a victory pose.

* * *

And that is it for the first chapter of my remake of The Art of Comedy Combat! Hope you enjoyed the new moves I employed in this remake, and Catch you Next Continue!


	2. Chapter 2

You Comedy Combat: Take Two!

Written by: Self-Proclaimed KingofDDR

* * *

As the lemon power was beginning to dissipate, the onlookers of the battle between Naruto and Kiba were trying to decipher just what their ears heard mere seconds ago.

'…_Comedy Combat?'_

"Comedy Combat. What a stupid sounding way to fight," Kankuro scoffed.

"First time I've ever heard of it," Temari shrugged, still paying attention to the fight. "Still, we can't overlook any type of fighting in this exam. It sounds stupid, but I'd say that the Uzumaki kid has the advantage right now."

"Hey, forehead!" Ino shouted over to Sakura, much to the pinkette's annoyance. "You're Naruto's teammate, so you should know what he's talking about. What the hell's this 'Comedy Combat' that he's bragging about?"

"Even if I did know what he's talking about, what makes you think that I'd tell you, piggy?" Sakura shouted back, sticking her tongue out at Ino.

"Humph! Fine, that style sounds stupid anyway! Anyone with half a brain could beat it!" Ino snarled.

"So how do you explain Kiba rolling around on the ground in pain?" Shikamaru inquired, watching as Kiba did just that, loudly shouting out every curse word in the book.

"I said someone with half a brain, not no brain at all!" Ino scoffed.

"I CAN HEAR YOU, YA KNOW!" Kiba roared, slowly getting to his feet while doing his best to get the power out of his eyes.

"Aw, wat wong, baby? Did wittle Kiba-kun not like gift Naruto give him?" Naruto said in a baby like tone.

The Feral Nin's eye twitched as he grabbed a bottle of water out of his coat pocket. "Oh…don't get me wrong. I rather enjoyed your 'wittle gift'. After all, it just gave me that much more of a reason to not feel too bad when I rip you to shreds!" Kiba snarled, splashing some water into his eyes to fully get rid of the power. "No more Mr. Nice Guy. I was gonna just take you out nice and quick with little pain. But _now…_Akamaru's gonna join the fight, and you'll regret ever making a monkey out of me! Let's go, Akamaru!"

…

…

…

"…Akamaru? Where are you?" Kiba shouted, looking all around the arena. But no matter where he searched, he couldn't find his furry little companion anywhere.

"What's the matter, dog-breath? Lose something?" Naruto said, looking bored as all hell.

"Whattaya think, smart ass? Where did Akamaru go?" Kiba snarled.

"No clue," Naruto shrugged. He then put his hands into the position for his signature move. "But I gotta say, just standing here and watching you look for your puppy is pretty dull. So if ya don't mind, I think I'm gonna entertain myself with a little meal. Shadow Clone Jutsu!"

With a cloud of smoke, two more Narutos appeared next to the original. But these ones were wearing different clothing.

One of them had on a white chef's apron, complete with ridiculously tall Chef's hat, and the apron had words on it that said, 'Kiss the Clone'.

The other Naruto wore a jet black tuxedo complete with tacky red bow tie. His hair was slicked back as well, and he also had a blonde mustache with a twirl at both ends.

"Your dinner is ready, sir," The fancy dressed Naruto said in a regal tone.

"Great! Break out the table and silverware!" Naruto declared.

The Waiter Naruto reached behind his back…and pulled out a small table complete with a floral pattern tablecloth and gleaming silverware on top of it.

Everybody in the arena blinked a couple of times, as if their eyes were trying to make sense of what just happened.

"…Did I just see what I thought I saw?" Ino deadpanned.

"You mean the French style Naruto pulling out a small dining table from out of nowhere, complete with floral pattern tablecloth, candlelight, and various silverware?" Shikamaru asked.

"…Okay, so I'm not the only one," Ino sighed in relief.

"Where the hell did you pull that out of?" Kiba said, still glaring at Naruto.

"My ass," Naruto deadpanned, whipping a dinner napkin around his neck as he took a seat at the table, picking up his knife and fork. "Look, you mind being quiet for a bit? I'd like to enjoy my meal in peace."

The Naruto that was dressed like a chef produced the dish for the real Naruto to enjoy.

"Here you go, sir. I think this is my greatest creation yet." The chef Naruto said.

"Thank you very much, clone." Naruto said, licking his lips. "I worked up a full appetite whipping this guy's ass."

As the chef put the dish down onto the table, Naruto lifted up the tray that hit the dish from sight. But when it was revealed, everyone in the arena gasped of fright.

"AKAMARU!" Kiba shouted in horror.

Right before Kiba's eyes was a terrified looking Akamaru, with an Apple in its mouth to prevent it from barking out to his master. It was laid out like a Christmas turkey, with vegetables of all shapes and sizes surrounding it.

Naruto licked his lips and picked up his knife and fork.

"Oh boy, my favorite! Fresh Akamaru meat!" Naruto said, grinning with shark-like teeth.

"LET HIM GO!" Kiba shouted, rushing towards Naruto with the intent of maiming him.

"Okay. You can have him," Naruto shrugged, tossing Akamaru towards the enraged Kiba.

Kiba quickly caught his animal companion, removing the Apple from his mouth. "Akamaru, are you okay? Speak to me!"

Akamaru whimpered for a few seconds, nuzzling against his master. But soon after, he began to chuckle. And it was a human chuckle.

"Hook, line and sinker, dog boy..." Akamaru snickered... _in Naruto's voice_.

"What the?" Kiba shouted. But before he could do anything, Akamaru changed into Naruto in a poof of smoke.

"Hello there," Naruto said cheekily. He quickly followed that up with a kick directly into Kiba's face, using him as a springboard to bounce back while Kiba flew across the arena, landing hard on to the ground.

"Ta-da!" Naruto said, bowing to the rest of the onlookers.

Everyone else looked impressed, especially Kurenai, much as she was loath to admit.

"_How the heck was Naruto able to fool Kiba like that?_" Kurenai thought. "_Kiba's superior sense of smell should've tipped him off that that wasn't the real Akamaru."_

"Owwww…" Kiba groaned, rubbing his now red and tender nose. "How could I fall for such a stupid trick... That prick smelled so much like Akamaru that I couldn't tell the difference!"

"Too bad, dog boy. Did you really think that I'd eat your number one partner? Even I'm not that much of a bastard," Naruto said. "In fact, I happen to have him right here."

Naruto opened up his orange jacket, revealing Akamaru taped up to the right side. Akamaru whimpered when he caught sight of his master.

"Considering how much you were worried for this guy, I'm guessing that he's an important part of your battle strategy. So as long as I have him, it'll be much harder for you to beat me. Not to mention that as long as he's this close to me, I can make every single one of my clones smell like him. So, what are you going to do now?" Naruto taunted.

Kiba didn't say anything. He just nodded towards Akamaru, and Akamaru nodded back. And before anyone could figure out what was happening, Akamaru opened his mouth wide, and Kiba quickly through a pill into his open mouth before Naruto could turn away.

Shortly after Akamaru swallowed the pill, he began to turn red. Naruto gave off a loud gulp as the feral puppy glared up at him. Akamaru easily freed himself from Naruto, rushing towards Kiba and ramming through the other three clones along the way, turning them into confetti.

"Good boy, Akamaru," Kiba praised, petting the growling puppy. "Now, let's show this bastard our true power!"

Akamaru growled in agreement, hopping onto Kiba's back.

"Now you're as good as dead, Naruto..." Kiba growled with a smirk on his face. "Ninja Art of Beast Mimicry; Man Beast Clone!"

With those words, Akamaru transformed into a clone of Kiba himself, complete with matching outfits.

"Now you've got double the trouble facing you, you bastard," Kiba and Akamaru snarled together.

"Oh goody. This just means that it'll be even more embarrassing for you when I defeat you!" Naruto declared confidently.

"We'll see about that. Let's go, Akamaru!" Kiba shouted.

Kiba and Akamaru rushed towards Naruto, the dog nin throwing a smoke bomb to hide their advance.

... Only for Naruto to blow away the smoke with a portable fan and dodge them easily.

"Where the hell are you pulling all this stuff out of!" Kiba shouted.

"Didn't we already discuss this?" Naruto said, rolling his eyes. "I thought you were much faster than this, Kiba. Don't tell me that I'm too much for you!"

"You want speed, Naruto? I'II SHOW YOU SPEED!" Kiba roared. "Let's get him, Akamaru!"

Akamaru barked in agreement. All of a sudden, the two twirled around and became a hurricane of teeth and fangs, heading straight for Naruto!

"Take this, Naruto! Fang over Fang!" Kiba shouted from the whirlwind.

"Oh, SNAP!" Naruto shouted, running away like the hounds of hell were after him, barely dodging Kiba's attack.

"Too bad, but it's only a matter of time before Kiba gets that boy now, Kakashi," Kurenai said smugly.

"I wouldn't count Naruto out so soon, Kurenai," Kakashi chuckled. "Just look below.

Kurenai did so...and saw that Naruto, while running...was eating a banana.

"...What the hell?" Kurenai went.

"Why is that idiot eating a banana at a time like this?" Ino shouted, unable to comprehend just what Naruto was thinking.

"… I'd like to say that I have no idea, but if Naruto is trying what I think he's trying…" Shikamaru said, resisting the urge to facepalm.

"Is that kid for real?" Kankuro said, getting what Naruto was about to do.

He got his answer when, once Naruto was far enough away from Kiba, the blond threw the banana peel unto the floor.

Kiba could smell the peel. "Do you really think that something like a banna peel will help? Akamaru and I will just rip it, and YOU, to shreds!" Kiba gloated, as he and Akamaru charged towards Naruto.

_'Got to time this just right...'_ Naruto thought, waiting.

Waiting.

Waiting...NOW!

"Get a good whiff of this, Kiba!" Naruto shouted, plucking a small green bomb from his Kunai pouch. "Stink Bomb Blast!"

Naruto launched the foul ball directly towards Kiba and Akamaru. They shredded it apart with ease, but that's just what Naruto wanted. The second the ball was shredded apart, Kiba and Akamaru received the full brunt of the foul-smelling liquid. Their eyes were closed, luckily for them, but their noses which they were using to track down Naruto were not so lucky.

Akamaru was immediately knocked out by the smell, falling out of his tornado form and skidding to the side. Kiba was able to remain conscious, but there were tears in his eyes from how strong the smell was. So he couldn't see the banana peel that he was sliding towards, until it was too late. And since he was going so fast, he literally flew into the air backwards after he slipped on the peel.

Not wasting any time, Naruto was right there with him holding, of all things, a rubber chicken.

"Did I ever tell you that I was a Master of Cluck-Fu?" Naruto asked as if he were discussing the weather, swinging the chicken like one would do with nunchucks. "Now, you can have a firsthand taste of it!"

Kiba couldn't say or do anything. All he could do was cover his nose and mouth in an attempt to keep from throwing up, glaring at Naruto all the while.

"Nothing to say? Oh, well. I'll just end this now, if you don't mind. Chicken Strike!" Naruto declared.

Naruto twirled the rubber chicken above his head for a few seconds, before lashing it down on top of Kiba's chest, launching the dog nin towards the ground.

Kiba hit the floor at full force, losing consciousness instantly, while Naruto landed perfectly on his feet, grinning like a maniac.

"Well, that was fun!" Naruto laughed.

"The winner of this match is, Uzumaki Naruto!" Hyatae announced.

"I… I can't believe it. That knucklehead actually won!" Ino said in disbelief.

"Humph. Just goes to show that even the most unlikely of combat styles can be deadly, if in the right hands," Shikamaru shrugged.

"Well done, Naruto." Kakashi said softly, smiling underneath his mask.

"That was great! In fact…I feel like...dancing!" Naruto declared.

Out of nowhere, some music began to play, while Naruto busted out some dance moves. He then begin to spin around and around in the air while the music sang some lines.

_Get down_

_Yureru mawaru_ _fureru setsunai kimochi_

_Futari de issho ni nemuru winter land_

_Anata dake mitsumete watashi dake mitsumete_

_Asu wo chikau_

_Gyutto dakare moeru koigokoro_

_Hageshiku maichiru yuki ni tsutsumarete_

_Eien ni ai shiteru kyou yori ai shiteru_

_Zutto eternal love_

"…What the blue hell is he doing?" Kankuro said during the bizarre dance.

"He's just…spinning around. How the hell is he staying in the air like that?" Temari added.

"…And why is he doing all of those rapid-fire pelvic thrusts?" Ino gaped.

At the end of the song, both Naruto and the song itself came to an abrupt halt.

"Thank you," Naruto said. He then just jumped back onto the railing like nothing happened.

Everyone just stared at him.

…Except Hinata, who lost consciousness the second she saw Naruto perform those pelvic thrusts, with a bleeding nose and a huge smile on her bright red face.

* * *

Author's Note: Well, I hope you enjoyed the latest chapter. Sorry it took so long to come out, but I've learned two things during the time it took to make this. One, TV Tropes does indeed ruin your life. And two, it's a bitch trying to type out a chapter of a Fanfic using your new Dragon Naturally Speaking program when you are recovering from having one of your teeth pulled out. Until my mouth feels fully better, this'll probably be the last chapter for a bit. Hope you enjoyed it, and Catch you next Continue!

PS: Look at my profile, and you will see a link to the dance that Naruto performed after his victory against Kiba at the very bottom. Thanks!

PPS: Also, I've decided to keep on going with my original Art of Comedy Combat fanfic! Just think of this one as the vastly different Manga version, kinda like how the Yu-Gi-Oh GX Anime and Manga are vastly different. See ya later!


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